March 2015

Much of my identity is wrapped up in the fact that I am a blessed, imperfect, busy, home-schooling mom of 9. I’ve been married for 20 years, and yes, all my kids were birthed by me, have the same father, and I actually do know what causes babies. (As my husband likes to explain: cold Spokane winters.) My oldest, Hailey, is 19; Adrian III is 18; Tristan would be turning 16 this month, but he died from brain cancer at age 9. Madeline is 13, and is disabled in almost all ways, and mentally she’s about 2. Clara is 11; Presley is 8; J’onn (pronounced like the French name Jean– Tristan named him after Martian Manhunter) is 6; Cory is 4; and Eva (EEEvvaahh- thanks again to Tristan and his love of Wall-E) is 18 months. That’s 5 girls, 4 boys. Girls win? I don’t know, we’ll have to wait and see.

Beyond this part of my identity, and actually first and foremost, my identity is found in Jesus Christ. If He does nothing else for me, the fact that He, though sinless, died on a cross in place of me, for my sins, so that I may have a restored relationship with God the Creator of the Universe is enough. I am eternally grateful for the forgiveness, grace, and love I have been shown by my Savior.

I love the study of eschatology, I am blessed that the Lord has opened my eyes to the reality that we are living in the very last days. The rapture of the church will happen sooner than we think. I am comforted by that, and I hope you are, too. Because of this pursuit, I check out many websites daily, gleaning information to gain a bigger, more informed picture of our planet. (See my Links page.)

My husband, Adrian, is my best friend, and I am so thankful the Lord had mercy on our relationship and on our marriage. I was three months pregnant with Hailey when we were married. Nothing happened in the way we wanted, and our relationship was difficult for a long time. But it has been amazing to see how God used our polar opposite personalities to draw us both toward balance. I hate to think of what I would be like if I didn’t have him in my life.

Much of my life as a mom has involved hospital stays with my kids. Madeline was in a PICU from age 36 hours old to 7 months, plus many other times. Tristan went through 19 months of chemotherapy, radiation & surgeries before he went home to be with his Lord. Two other of my kids have spent time in the PICU due to accidents. That’s 4 out of 9, normal odds are 1 in 1000. Ugh. We also have nurses and care givers in our home to help with Madeline. Sometimes I just have to catch my breath and whisper, “What’s next, Lord?”

The average day in my home is full of fun, laughter, chores, school, a lot of errands and appointments, some yelling- if anything just to be heard- and lots of hugs. With Hailey & Adrian working full time, Tristan gone and Madeline with her nurse for half the day, I have found myself with a second phase, a little family, if you will. I run all my errands with 5 kids 11 and under, and people comment on the large size of my brood. If they only knew….

Update: January 2017

Israel was born in March last year successfully tying the boys to girls ratio. With baby 11 due in July of this year, we’ll have to see which way the scales tip! Hailey got married in August last year and lives nearby. Adrian spends half the year in Texas at school. With Tristan gone and Madeline (15 but going on 3), that makes Clara (13) my oldest. It’s been quite the challenge for her to go from middle child to oldest!